Thursday, January 28, 2016

Creating an Eternal Marriage relationship

"For a relationship to survive, both parties must bring magic with them. Although I don't believe in a one-and-only soul mate for anyone, I do know this: Once you commit to being married, your spouse becomes your soul mate, and it's your duty to work every day to keep it that way. Once you have committed, the search for a soul mate is over; our thoughts and actions turn from looking to creating."
~ Dieter F. Uchtdorf

Wanted to share some things I have been doing to "work every day to keep it that way". One thing is my meditation. I have included statements in my mediation and intention for the year that I want to implement and place deep in my heart so it becomes a solid part of who I am. Not something I have to constantly work to choose but something that comes naturally and easily.

Here is my meditation: 

"I always have dinner ready when Mike gets home from work so he has a peaceful evening and reward for his hard work for our family in providing for us. I never take for granted his willingness to get up each morning and go out to labor for the welfare and support of our family. Mike’s income is enough and to spare and we have more then we need always. I always spend less than I am given and have extra when it is needed.

Each evening before dad gets home we clean the house as a family and make it a place that is peaceful and relaxing to come home to. Mike loves to walk into our home because he feels loved and appreciated here. He loves to come home each evening and feels welcome and loved."

One reason for some of the meditation was I listened to a talk by John Bytheway about marriage that really impacted and inspired me. In it he talked about how when you are first married you appreciate everything your spouse does for you. But as the time goes on you start to expect more and appreciate less. You start to take for granted the things they do for you and expect them to continue rather than constantly acknowledge the gift and blessing they are in your life. It becomes a negative cycle. 

He also discussed how those things we expect are only noticed when they are not done. For example you might expect to find clean underwear magically in your drawer each morning and as long as you do you say nothing. But the one morning there is nothing in that drawer and you lose it because that expectation was not met. He suggested that the better way is to acknowledge and express gratitude for that drawer being full and recognize there was no magic getting it done but that someone loved and served you to make sure that was done for you.

I shared a idea for a Christmas Gift for our husbands here and it has been a huge blessing to me and to our marriage. It is a Journal that I write in things I am grateful for about my husband and kind things he has done for me throughout the year. It helps me focus on what is going right and magnifying that in our relationship.

One entry this last week was about a sweet gift my husband gave me. He was leaving for work in a snow storm and I was leaving just after him to take my son to school. We said our goodbyes and he walked out the door first. I finished getting ready and out the door. As I walked out I was so discouraged to see the snow and thought "Oh it is so cold and I will have to dig out my car." But the next thing I noticed was the sound of scraping windows. I thought "Oh Mike is having to scrape his car. Yuck" more cold.  But then I noticed his car was all scraped and it was my windows he was scraping.  What a sweet blessing to me to be able to get in my car and drive away all cleaned off by my sweet man. 

This and many other such acts of kindness have been more gratefully received and documented for our children because of this Christmas journal idea.

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